Passive
by Dissolution
Summary: A song fic based off the song Passive, by A Perfect Circle. Van visits his dead brotherrivalenemy and finally realizes why he was such a part of Van's life. I do not own the song Passive, by A Perfect Circle.


Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids. Don't sue me.

**Passive**

It's cold when I walk in the morgue. Dead cold, you might say, if you wanted to be ironic. There's only one table, and it's in the center of the room. Dramatic, but hey, I can deal with that. What I _almost_ can't deal with is your white shape on that table, your almost-familiar figure draped in the shroud.

_"Dead as dead can be," the doctor tells me_

_But I just can't believe him_

_Ever the optimistic one, I'm sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy_

I just can't believe you're dead. It's been years since I met you and years since I started hating you. Hating you almost just because you hated me. You were a constant in my life, and it's like it's too much to hope for that you're gone now. But not really.

_So, wake up, and face me_

_Don't play dead cuz maybe someday I will walk away and say_

_"You disappoint me, maybe you're better off this way"_

I expect you to suddenly sit up as I approach, tear that white _thing_ off your face and grin at me that mocking grin that I remember and hate/love so much. Maybe point a gun at my face and tell me how much of a sucker I am. I just can't believe you're really dead. No, you can't be.

_Leaning over you here cold and catatonic_

_I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been_

_It's your right and your ability to become my perfect enemy_

But you don't sit up, and I slowly fold back the cover from your face. That small smirk that I remember so well is still on there, frozen forever. Why did you have to hate me? You could have been so much, if you had just …not…hated me so much when you first saw me. I don't know what set you off. Maybe because we were so similar. Don't look at me like that. We are similar – were similar. Except now you're dead and I'm not.

_Wake up (why can't you) and face me (come on now)_

_Don't play dead (don't play dead) cause maybe (because maybe) someday (someday) I'll walk away and say_

_"You disappoint me, maybe you're better off this way"_

This is ridiculous. I don't know why I'm here. I had to verify that they were telling the truth, that you did actually die. But I know you're not dead. You can't be, because you were part of me. With you dead, part of me is dead, and that can't be. You were always there. Always.

_But maybe you're better off this way _

_But maybe you're better off this way_

_But maybe you're better off this way_

_You're better off this_

_You're better off this_

_Maybe you're better off_

But the world is better off with you dead. You would be the first to admit it, I know. The world is safer, kinder, more docile… It's just better. I should be glad, because now I can sleep safely in my bed tonight instead of constantly worrying about you hurting my loved ones, my friends, me…

_Wake up (why can't you) and face me (come on now)_

_Don't play dead (don't play dead) cause maybe (cause maybe) someday (someday) I'll walk away and say_

"_You fucking disappoint me, maybe you're better off this way!"_

I hate you. You can't die on me like this. I need you, just have a person I can hate and feel okay about it. You were a staple, something I could count on, rage at, spit on. I _need_ you. I hate you just like you hated me, and you _lived_ to hate me.

_Go ahead and play dead _

_(Go!) _

_I know that you can hear this _

_(Go!)_

_Go ahead and play dead _

_Why can't you turn and face me? _

_(Wake up!)_

_Why can't you turn and face me?_

_(Wake up!)_

_Why can't you turn and face me? _

_(Wake up!)_

_Why can't you turn and face me? _

_(Go!)_

_You fucking disappoint me!_

I stare at you, at your sneer, at the scars on your face. Those gray-blue eyes should be opening now, a hand should be rising to stick a gun in my face. But your eyes don't flicker, your hand stays still. All right. Okay. Die then. You're out of my life now. Forever. What will I hate? Why don't you wake up, damn you! I need someone to hate. Maybe, maybe _this_ is your last revenge. Maybe you knew how much I needed you, and you died just to spite me. If that's the truth, then I will leave and I will live, still hating you. You disappoint me, you know that? You fucking disappoint me.

_Passive aggressive bullshit_

_Passive aggressive bullshit_

_Passive aggressive bullshit_

_Passive aggressive bullshit_

_Passive aggressive bullshit_

_Passive aggressive bullshit…_


End file.
